Baking Lessons Page 15

  Sitting up, she twisted around to face him and then instantly regretted it. Even in the dim glow of the city night lights illuminating the room, he was so gorgeous that she was instantly distracted from her outrage—her justified outrage. The shadows under his cheekbones and full lower lip made him look like a sulky model, and she instantly felt stupid—why had she thought that this beautiful man would actually want her? “Hamilton,” she said, forcing herself to focus, to end this guessing game once and for all. “Why are you here?”

  His throat moved as he swallowed. “I’ll leave.” Ducking his head slightly, he started to turn away from her. “I apologize again.”

  Making an impatient sound, she grabbed his hand. “That’s not what I meant. I’m honestly asking. Why are you here? Do you feel like I’m your responsibility? Are you interested in me? Is this part of your definition of being a good friend? I’ve been trying to read your signals, but I think your body language is some wacky code that, for the life of me, I can’t figure out, so I’m asking you flat out—what do you want from me?”

  He’d frozen in place when she’d caught his hand, his face turned away from her. He inhaled, as if taking a breath before speaking, but no words left his mouth.

  Staring at his profile, Leah examined the way his lips pressed together, thinning them almost out of existence, and the way his eyelid was twitching in double-time. He didn’t look annoyed, like a person who was disinterested in her. He looked...tortured. Because of that, her anger slipped away, and her voice was softer, gentler, when she spoke again. “Ham.” She gave the hand she still held a small shake. “I’m not mad. I’m just confused. Do you want to be around me? If not, I promise I’ll leave you alone. You’ll never see me unless the roof caves in on the bakery.”

  “No.” The loudness of the word startled her, and she jumped. Hamilton grimaced and lowered his voice. “Sorry. No. I don’t want you to leave me alone.”

  “Okay.” The conversation was making her feel like she was groping her way through a dark maze. “Do you want to just be friends, then? No touching except for the occasional hug or platonic noogie?”

  Slowly, he turned his head and met her eyes. In the dim lighting, the light blue of his irises was unearthly, almost haunting. “No.”

  Her heart started accelerating again, her stomach starting to float up after crashing to her toes earlier. “No to just friends? So...more than friends?”

  He nodded, his gaze fixed on hers, as he leaned ever so slightly toward her.

  The balloon of hope inside of her, the one she’d thought had been punctured by his apology, started to inflate again. “Does that mean...” She could hardly say the words, not because she was embarrassed, but because she was so afraid he’d smack down the idea, leaving her flattened and alone. Squeezing her hands into fists, she dug her nails into her palm. “Do you want to touch me, then? More than just a noogie?”

  His mouth crooked up at the corner, just a small motion, but it was enough to send a wave of affection and desire through her. “What is a noogie?”

  “I’ll show you later.” She waved off his question, desperately needing to know how he felt about her. Her desire for him, her connection to him, were so huge that it felt like her emotions filled her to the point of pain. If he was going to tear everything out of her, hollowing her out, she wanted it over with. This conversation couldn’t wait for her to supplement his junior-high social education. “Do you want me?”

  There was a long, awful pause.

  “Yes.” The word sounded like it had been ripped out of his chest. “Touching you is all I ever fucking think about.”

  Her eyes went wide. She wasn’t sure what startled her more—Hamilton declaring that he wanted to touch her, or him swearing. “Fuck” sounded so dirty and desperate coming out of his mouth. “Then...” Her voice was barely a croak. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “Then what’s the problem?”

  “What?”

  “You want me, and I want you, so why are we just sitting here right now?” Frustration made her voice get a little loud toward the end, and Leah was glad that Annabelle wasn’t home and forced to listen to the drama.

  Hamilton was breathing hard, his mouth slightly open and his bare, broad chest lifting and falling in quick strokes. “The problem is that I shouldn’t want this.” His words were short and harsh, but he kept staring at her like she was a cream-filled cupcake, so Leah didn’t doubt that he was desperate for her. “I’ve never wanted this before. Why you? Why now?”

  She blinked several times, trying to process the sheer impossibility of what he was saying. “Wait...what? You’ve never wanted sex before?”

  His lips went tight and straight again as his gaze darted away from hers. Despite that, his answer was direct. “No.”

  “Ever?”

  “Not enough to deal with what comes with it, no.”

  Partly confused and partly fascinated, Leah leaned forward. “What comes with sex? Emotions, you mean?”

  “Mostly that.” His gaze caught hers for a moment before sliding away again. “There’s also the physical part.”

  “The physical part?” Leah knew she sounded like an idiot the way she was repeating everything that he was saying, but it was just so bizarre.

  With an impatient gesture, he said, “The mess.”

  She caught herself right before she echoed his words. “What do you mean by ‘mess?’ Come?”

  “Yes, and the rest of it.” When she just stared at him, trying to wrap her mind around what he was explaining to her, he huffed out a breath and continued. “Lubrication and the possibility of disease transmission and the noises and everything. Plus, there’s the whole loss of control. It’s difficult enough when I’m alone. Adding another person would be even worse, I imagine.”

  “You...imagine?” She was back to repeating him, but she didn’t care. “Are you saying that you’ve never had sex with anyone?”

  It was hard to tell in the low light, but she was pretty sure his face darkened with a flush. “Yes. That is what I’m saying.”

  “But how?” Before he could answer, she kept talking. “How did you, Mr. Thor-Clone, Sir Sex-on-a-Stick, Lord Look-at-Those-Biceps, King of Soaked Panties, manage to outrun the hordes of women who must’ve tried to chase you down and ride you like a pony? How?”

  His mouth was open again as he stared at her, looking startled. “I...” He coughed. “I don’t think anyone else sees me the way that you see me.”

  “Nuh-uh.” Although she’d gotten over her initial shock that beautiful Hamilton was a freaking virgin, she was still amazed and awed and completely thrilled at the thought of maybe, possibly, being his first. “You forget that I saw two women drooling over you at the bakery, and both Q and Annabelle call you gorgeous. It’s not that I’m wearing Hamilton-is-a-stud-colored glasses or anything. You really are this hot.”

  He waved a hand, dismissing her words, but he didn’t argue any more.

  Reaching over, Leah turned on the bedside lamp, and soft yellow light covered the room. They were going to be talking more about this, and if Hamilton was going to be blushing again, she wanted to see it. “How’d you make it through high school and college without giving it up? I mean, with all those hormones floating around, it must’ve been a struggle.”

  There it was—he flushed, two streaks of brick red over his cheekbones. “It wasn’t a struggle. I was focused on my studies, rather than any of that.”

  She stared at him, trying to comprehend the fact that this beautiful, ripped, thirty-one-year-old man in front of her had never had sex with anyone before. “Wow.”

  “You’re staring.”

  “I’m just...impressed.”

  “Impressed?” He frowned slightly, eyeing her as if he doubted her sincerity.

  “Your self-control must be enormous.”

  “It was.” There was a note of accusati
on in his voice that made Leah’s heartbeat quicken.

  “Was?” She held her breath as she waited for his answer.

  Extending his hand, he lightly brushed his knuckles over her cheek. “You’re surprisingly...tempting.”

  “I tempt you?” Hearing that made her insides dissolve into a warm puddle of goo.

  “Yes.” His fingers continued their exploration of her face, barely brushing her skin. Even as he touched her, he scowled at his hand, as if he didn’t have full control of his appendages. “To the point of insanity.”

  Bright dots started to sparkle in her peripheral vision, and she hurried to suck in a much-needed breath. Shifting onto her knees, she shuffled closer until she was just an inch away from him. “It would be okay with me—” she almost snorted at the understatement “—if you wanted to give in to that temptation.”

  Sucking in an audible breath, he froze, his hand still barely touching her jaw. His gaze was hot and intense and brought her melted innards to a full, raging boil. She didn’t think she’d ever wanted anyone as much as she wanted Hamilton, and he’d barely touched her. When he didn’t speak—didn’t even breathe—Leah reached up and cupped his face.

  “We can start slow.” When he didn’t object at her touch, she leaned closer. He watched her like he couldn’t decide if she was a rattlesnake about to strike or a genie about to give him everything he’d ever wanted. Not wanting to force him to do anything he found gross, she paused before making contact, glancing up and meeting his gaze to check if he was okay with what she was doing.

  His eyes were blazing. There was no other word for it. When their gazes met, her mouth instantly went dry from the heat in his, and her tongue darted out to lick her lips. He made a sound, more of a breath-catch than a moan. Whatever it was, it was desperate and hungry, and it emboldened her to continue.

  Her lips brushed the scruff a short distance from the corner of his mouth, and he made that sound again. Leaning back, she examined him closely.

  “Is this okay?” she asked. “I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want me to do.”

  “No.” His voice sounded like it was full of gravel. “That was...fine.” To her surprise, he laughed, just a short, choked huff, but it was clearly a laugh. “More than fine. Fine is not the most accurate description of what you just did.”

  She loved how desperate he looked, how his usually precise diction was all muddled up as he searched for a way to tell her that he liked that tiny peck she’d just given him. If he would let her, then getting Hamilton dirty was going to be fun—and mind-blowingly hot.

  Unable to hold back a smile, she kissed him again, just a light brush of her lips on the other side of his mouth. His hand dropped from her cheek to wrap around the side of her throat. Although she could feel the tension in his fingers, he didn’t try to control her movement. Instead, he just waited for whatever she was going to do next.

  The freedom to do what she wanted excited her. He was untouched, like a cookie waiting to be decorated, unsullied potential waiting for her touch. The thrill of it buzzed through her, making her blood rush faster and her skin prickle with want. He watched her as she swooped in, landing on the center of his mouth this time, making him jerk slightly with surprise before he pressed tentatively closer.

  Her breath came in quick, short pants as she felt his lips on hers. She was so aroused by a simple kiss that she was almost dizzy with it. Opening her mouth slightly, she tentatively touched his bottom lip with her tongue.

  He jumped as if he’d been given an electric shock, the movement breaking their contact.

  “No tongue then?” she asked, disappointment rushing through her. That small taste of him hadn’t been enough. She needed more.

  “No.” He gave his head a sharp shake, his gaze never leaving her mouth. “I mean, yes.”

  Her heart jumped with new excitement, and she almost laughed. This emotional up-and-down was going to give her a coronary by the time they actually had sex—if they managed to get to that point. “Yes to tongue?”

  He licked his bottom lip, tasting where she’d been, and desire squeezed her belly. “Yes to tongue.” His voice was a low rasp.

  Not wanting to give him a chance to change his mind before he realized how incredible tongues could feel, she dove back in, catching his full lower lip lightly between her teeth. He hissed out a breath that couldn’t have been from pain, since she wasn’t biting hard enough to hurt him, so Leah took that as a good sign. His lips parted with the sound, and she took full advantage, slipping her tongue into his mouth to tease his.

  After a frozen moment, he groaned and grabbed the back of her head, kissing her back ferociously. Arousal swept Leah’s brain clear, until nothing was left except Hamilton—his mouth on hers and his hands gripping handfuls of her hair. She toppled sideways into the pillows, and he followed her down, never breaking their kiss. They rolled until she was on her back with Hamilton on top of her, his elbows supporting most of his weight.

  His technique was untutored, but the hungry intensity more than made up for any clumsiness. Grabbing his shoulders, she pulled him even closer before her hands went off-roading, exploring every rise and valley of his muscular back. His tongue ventured into her mouth, and she sucked on it. As he grunted in surprise and arousal, she half expected him to withdraw, but he just deepened the kiss even more. His hips pressed down, grinding his erection into the juncture of her thighs.

  The kiss went wild. Leah kissed and licked and nipped at him, remembering every time she’d stopped herself from touching him, every time her body had wanted to tackle him, her hands wanted to caress him, her lips wanted to be pressed against his. Finally, she was getting what she wanted, and all of her passion rushed out like a waterfall that had just burst through the dam holding it back.

  He was just as frantic, just as needy, as if he’d been wanting to touch her as much as she’d wanted to touch him. Despite the raw hunger, though, it was obvious that he was paying attention to what she was doing. His slight awkwardness disappeared as their kissing continued, and he plundered her mouth with all the confidence of a guy who had a bedpost covered in notches.

  Pulling back, she gasped for breath, staring up at his taut and fiery-eyed face. “You’re a quick learner.” Her voice was breathless and ragged.

  “Did you want to stop?” He was just as hoarse as she was, which made her smile at him. She’d never felt so beautiful, so wanted, before. Hamilton looked desperate, like he’d go crazy if he didn’t kiss her again. Now that she knew he’d never done this with anyone else, it made her feel a bit like a goddess.

  “No.” At her answer, his relieved exhale brushed her cheek. “Just wanted to make sure you were okay with this. After all, we were getting a little...messy.” It wasn’t nice to tease him, she knew, but she couldn’t help poking at him a little bit.

  In response, his cheeks darkened even more. “You’re making me like being messy.”

  “Just wait.” Her smile widened. “I am going to mess you up so good.”

  One side of his mouth twitched down in a slight frown. “I’m not sure what you mean by that ungrammatical jumble of a sentence, but it sounds slightly...unpleasant.”

  A laugh bubbled out of her, more from happiness than amusement, and she shook her head. The pillow under her caught her hair, spreading it out on either side of her. “It will not be unpleasant. I promise you that. If you don’t like anything I do, just say something, and I’ll stop doing that and try something different.”

  Easing one of his hands out from behind her head, he stroked a long strand of her hair with his fingers. When he reached the end, he lifted it and brushed it against his cheek while closing his eyes for a brief moment. “You, too,” he said, looking at her again. “You need to tell me what you like.”

  “Oh, I will.” The words came out as a throaty purr, and she snorted, amused at the sex-kitten persona Hamil
ton seemed to bring out in her. “You want to do this then? It’ll mean getting even messier.”

  There was no hesitation before he answered. “Yes.”

  “Good.” The incredible understatement almost made her laugh. Instead, she drew her nails up his back, pushing down just hard enough to lightly score his skin from his waist to his shoulders. Under her touch, he shuddered and groaned, his hips jerking against her, the bulge of his erection bumping against her clit through several layers of fabric. That sensation made her squirm and press up against him, barely managing to ask, “Do you like this?”

  He stared at her like she’d just asked a very dumb question. “Yes.”

  His answer made her smile and press her lips to his again. He quickly took over, deepening the kiss without any coaxing or leading from her. With a pleased sound, she met each stroke of his tongue and each nip of his teeth with one of hers. His excitement was obvious, in both the sounds he made deep in his chest and in the hardness of his cock he ground against her pussy.

  Emboldened by his obvious pleasure in her touch, she allowed her hands to slide down his back and under the waistband of his boxers. This time, he swore against her mouth, his hands tangling in her hair again, so tightly that she couldn’t move her head. Just like when his body held her down, she didn’t mind the restraint, oddly enough. The tugs against her scalp made her hotter, and she wondered how she’d never discovered this strange kink of hers before. It was because she was with Hamilton, she decided. Anything he did was arousing.

  She squeezed his ass, pressing her fingertips into the steely muscle, and he made a desperate sound, making her smile. His vocal reactions surprised her, but she liked them—a lot. She’d expected him to be reserved and stoic, just as he was when her hands weren’t down his underwear, but he wasn’t. Not at all. Every grunt and groan and swear word forced through gritted teeth made her wetter, and she wanted to do more, to make him react again.

  Her hands moved inward, sliding into the crease that separated his hard buns, and he went still and rigid again, jerking his head back and breaking the kiss. Undeterred, she followed the furrow down, brushing her fingertips teasingly around his puckered hole.